Picking the right venue for your wedding is a massive undertaking. However, it's not always something you and your partner will agree on. Yes, you might have some good ideas together, but you won't always see eye to eye when it comes to making the final decision (even if you both agree on everything else). So, how do you stop arguing with your partner over venues? Here's our advice:
List The Pros aand Cons Together
One way to get around an argument is to list the pros and cons together. Writing them down can be helpful because it makes the process clear and more objective. For example, you could list the pros and cons of each venue you like using a standardized system and then compare them line by line. This way, you can tease out the real differences and then make a decision based on fewer variables. You can also put it down in writing to make it less emotional. The more you can say in terms of statistics or written words, the less likely you will see significant conflict before tying the knot. What you want to avoid is one partner being happy but the other not. Ideally, both of you should feel invested in the venue and want to make it a part of your big day.
Take a Break From Venue Talk
Another tried-and-tested strategy is to take a break from wedding talk. Giving each other a breather from all the discussions is a great way to take a step back and see where you stand. Taking a breather the moment things start to look like a conflict is a great way to resolve it. Usually, partners will go away and think about it and then come back with a creative solution or compromise. For example, suppose you really like a venue but your partner doesn't. In this situation, you can give them some space to go back to the drawing board, think through what they don't like, and come up with some solutions for how to fix it. Often, it just requires a little thinking outside the box. Furthermore, you are more likely to come to terms with your partner if you give them a break. Often, distance is a great healer.
Remember The Bigger Picture
You also want to remember the bigger picture. While the choice of venue might seem important, what really matters is the marriage and the relationship you want to cement. Sometimes, you have your heart set on a specific venue, but this isn't a good idea. What counts is the wedding itself and the vows. Even if a location isn't available or your partner dislikes it, it doesn't necessarily mean that conflict has to arise. Sometimes, just a simple conversation can resolve the issue, or you can relax and go somewhere else. What you ultimately want is a life where you and your partner are happy. You don't want to get into a situation where you marry but later find out that it's not working. As such, the venue should be low on your list of priorities.
Consider Using a Third Party
If you still can't make up your mind, consider using a third-party option. Other people may be able to make better decisions that are less emotional and in everyone else's best interest. For example, you might want to host a wedding in a mountain retreat a long way from civilization, but most of your guests might just want to go to a nearby public house or rooftop bar. Furthermore, the more extreme the venue, the more likely your partner will take issue with it. They may have had something more conventional in mind. Therefore, you can pass this decision over to other people you trust. Get them to work together and figure something out for you, saving you the effort of fighting and arguing with your other half.
Prioritize Other Factors
If you still can't agree with your spouse-to-be about the venue, try changing the focus. Instead of concentrating all your energy on the venue, think about other elements or aspects of the day that matter. For example, you could focus on things like the vibe and convenience. You might invest in decorations so that it has the best atmosphere (and the venue melds into the background). You could also focus on the guest experience from start to finish. Thinking about what the day might be like for them can be a great way to make it a memorable and exciting experience for everyone. Taking this focus removes the direct conflict between you and your partner. Instead, you are both concentrating on what guests will like the most (and hopefully getting a special day out of it at the end).
Be Clear on Non-Negotiables
You always want to be clear on your non-negotiables, of course. It should be clear to your partner where you are willing to compromise, and where you won't. Having non-negotiables is a bad idea in general but if you feel you can win with your partner, they may be willing to entertain them. For example, suppose you want a large number of guests for your family; a large venue might be impossible to avoid. Therefore, this might be classified as one of the things you can't change. Usually, your partner will be reasonable. But if they aren't, you may need to go back to the drawing board and rethink the entire thing.
Set a Realistic Budget
Finally, you should set a realistic budget for your wedding and venue, ensuring you get buy-in from your partner early on. You don't want to be in a situation where they are unwilling to pay their share, shouldering you with the bill. Worse still, you don't want them to experience feelings of resentment. Therefore, always have a budget in mind whenever you make wedding decisions. Think about the cost of the venue and how much you and your partner need to spend to get what you want.
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